A map that does not exist for a pathway that cannot be seen and the arriving at the possibility of a Comp Laude
I remember the morning of the 8th December 1969 as if it were this very morning, I remember my parents talking in hushed tones and then the urgency of my Mum as she hurried and bustled her way around the house that had been shattered out of its being; shifting it from being a home to just a house on the 30th November 1969. The reason for the shattering was the death of my brother in a workplace incident.
It was hard to come to terms with all that was happening at the surface level, preparing for funeral when in my head I knew I should have been at school doing my end of year exams. I was caught up in a drama that was beyond anything I could understand. My brother, my hero, my protector, my co-conspirator was gone and I was being asked which passage for a selection of Bible outlines I would read and which flowers I would pick from the garden to place on a coffin and more importantly which dress I was going to wear. All of it made so difficult. (I opted for jeans and t-shirt)
At the time the burden seemed without sense, it was without reason and without understanding or explanation. It is only with the ability of hindsight can I now sit in the knowing that comes only from such an experience that the loss of my brother set me onto a path that would dominate my being and require of me to dig deeper into my own self to find ways forward for countless others who I may never actually know.
That day I went from being the little sister and annoyance to my family (as all little sisters are) to being the care provider for my parents. For the next 20 years it was me who tended to them as they aged and their health declined. Even then I could not see the pathway under my feet, all I could see was the ever-present juggle of needs wants and expectations. Care giving and care being dominated everything I did, finding ways to make sure that needs and wants and expectations were delivered on time every time from the time I woke to the time I finally slept.
I thought at time very angrily of the hopes that I had held of leaving school and going to university to become a teacher, a dream that my brother had understood and supported, but was not possible after his death. When my parents passed in 1992 and 1993, I again turned my thoughts to going to university, my own children were by then old enough to cope with the rigours of what my study hours would present.
But life had other plans that I was not aware of, another intersection of the path that I was already walking.
The 30th May 1994 had a normal start to the day, the children had left for school, I had caught the bus on time to get to work, plans were formed for the coming weekend. Everything was in place and everything was normal.
To this day I dill don’t know exactly what happened to start my journey as an injured worker, the workplace incident was over in less than a few seconds, the impact is still trapped inside of my being.
In those few seconds I went from being totally self-reliant to being in need of the help and support that I had given to others. The pain of the injury was such that I was bilious from it, clear thought was not possible and understanding of what I needed to do was absent.
The next 3 years saw me go from someone who had life under control to not having any control. I sunk into prescription addiction, attempted to end my life because the pain and the inability to live in my broken body was just too hard to carry on with. To then going cold turkey because my doctor was unable to get me into a detox centre and unable to help me remove the opioids from my life.
I have to pause here and say cold turkey is not something I would ever recommend for anyone, what I put my family through was beyond anything I could ever explain.
Out of that came the determination to once more have solid ground under my feet. It was with more anger that I once more returned to the path that was still invisible and begin to understand just what had happened and work out which direction to go in. That meant dropping the anger and the fear and the frustration to come to know and make friends with this concept called workers compensation. Along the way learning where its strengths and weaknesses are and learning what can be done when hope dances with opportunity.
What I found should not surprise anyone. People with a workplace injury want one thing and only one thing, they want to be able to get up and get dressed and go to work. It is such a small want that it is overlooked as being important. My role in their lives turned into finding ways to help them move forward and to shift the focus from what are the restrictions to what is the ability.
When people regardless of who they are are gifted the opportunity to decide their own direction they come up with some of the most amazing outcomes and concepts and all of them move through the detour that workers compensation is back into their own lives.
In many ways the map of my life map had a very definitive start point that meandered and traversed its way through the highs and lows of the workers compensation system. The pathway under my feet has taken me from the reading of a piece of poetry that my late brother wrote (no Bible reading for him) to now the highest honour I have ever been gifted- a nominee for a Comp Laude Award. It’s not something that I ever thought would be possible let alone doable.
When David D came into my life it was about expanding my understanding of what else was out in the wider world that could be brought into my work and to help David learn more about what the Australian system looked like. The thought that one day my name could be among the very people who I have admired and respected and learned from was off the radar and nowhere near the map as I knew it to be.
For now it is an amazing feeling to see my name and feel the honour and know that regardless of the outcome the view from the Comp Laude stage is only possible because of everyone who has come into my life. The view is bittersweet because David D is no longer with any of us yet he is the one person who understood the “why” that drives me when others step away saying it makes no difference.
The journey continues, the map is not yet finished and the path is still unseen, my hope is that I will be able to attend the Comp Laude Awards though it is a long and expensive flight I seriously just want to be there with everyone and soak up the atmosphere of it all.
Yours in service
Rosemary
Rosemary
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