FEAR = Face Everything And Rise

Written by: Rosemary McKenzie-Ferguson

Each day is a challenge, the degree of challenge depends on many things, for me it starts before I open my eyes, I wiggle my toes, they move; that is a good sign. It means that I still have movement, for an incomplete paraplegic the wiggle of toes is important. The rest of the day is spent doing ordinary everyday things with the participants at Craig’s Table, everything from sharing endless cups of tea as others talk from the depth of their hearts about the cares and concerns and their fears.

One just recently talked about the fear of not being able to do a lot of things with grandchildren. The concern in her mind was real, the tears that flowed were real, the heartache was very real. We spoke about how even though I have several grandchildren the lack of dexterity in my hands and the lack of strength in my arms has meant that as new borns I was never able to reach into their cot and pick them up. So; we discussed the many different ways to achieve holding a grandchild. It was urgent for this person to know that there are always ways to do what is required and immediate. 

The challenge was not to resolve an immediate concern for another person, the challenge was to set in place the knowing that when grandchildren eventually arrive (that is assuming they do arrive as there are no indication of grandchildren anywhere in the next 5 years) that she will fill the role of grandmother just as her own mother had filled that role. 

Life for a person with a workplace injury is filled with learning. The first lesson is to put the anger and frustration and fears down. I could not have achieved any of the myriad of things I have done if I was also carrying a great deal of negative emotions with me.

Once I have been able to wiggle my toes then I know the day will just have ordinary everyday challenges. Fear is such an ugly thing, it has the ability to build images in our minds that reach cataclysmic proportions. 

Fear is what drives far too many within the injured worker community. 

When the orthopaedic specialists told me that there is a good chance that I will end my life in a wheelchair; I admit I was frightened out of all proportions. Everywhere I went for weeks after I saw every barrier that would prevent me from doing the majority of things that fill my day. Simple things such as going for coffee at my favorite coffee shop, simple things such as reaching my favorite pasta sauce at the supermarket, simple things such as getting in and out of my front door. Fearful things such as how could my family and friends still love and want me around if I was not able to walk, how would my little dogs cope if I could chase them on the lawn. I cried a lot, I screamed as loud as I could without making a sound. And then a calmness arrived that told me I was just projecting fear as though it was already real and already in place.

It was then that I was able to have a real conversation with the medical people based on what I needed to know. I discovered many options everything from an electric wheelchair (British racing green) to exoskeleton to experimental cell regeneration. But mostly it was simple exercises to keep the muscles around the compression fracture in good working order, they also ruled out with very serious faces, sky diving and under water diving neither of which bothered me as neither held any interest for me.

What I discovered was that once the fear was faced and the known parameters were able to be explored, there was no reason to fear anything that life may possibly hold.

I also discovered that with the removal of fear came an unexpected reduction of pain. The pain I dance with every day is still there, only now I was able to reframe it into a way of acceptance that I needed to reach. 

Far too many within the injured worker community focus on pain; those with a workplace injury need to understand it in order to be able to work with it, those who are providers need to stop focusing on it as though it is the epicentre of the universe. My being, my body has reached its maximum return to pre-injury status, if I were to focus on pain the fear would creep back in and I would become emotionally and mentally parallelized.  Every day I acknowledge to myself all the things that I need to be aware of, just as we all do when ensuring we are safe, then I get on with life, I wiggle my toes throughout the day I stand as much as possible and I don’t bother to look at extreme sports information.

Should my life end with me sitting in a wheelchair there are advantages. Never need to look for a chair in a food court, always the first on to a plane, always reserved car parking, always the best view of stage plays and concerts and someone will pass me the pasta sauce and I always take my little dogs to my favourite coffee shop so I already sit outside in the covered area so there is no need to be concerned about not being able to get coffee. 

So to return to the challenges for the injured worker community and the importance of Craig’s Table I can tell you that amazing things happen there, people who have not driven for years are back driving again, people who have relied on walking sticks are leaving them behind, people who have never spoken about the impact of workers compensation on their lives are speaking openly in order to support others going through the same process.  People are finding that all they need do is ask and help will be in place.

When I close the gates at night, I do acknowledge that my body is oft time wracked with physical pain and there are times when tears fall. The upside of it all is I would not ever want to be anywhere else. The fears of others are placed into the rubbish bin at Craig’s Table because the one thing we all have and hold on to is hope. Over the years I have discovered the hidden strength within those who carry a workplace injury, they have the ability to handle anything as long as they know the truth of what the “anything” actually is. 

Yours in service

Rosemary

www.craigstable.net.au
rosemary@craigstable.net.au
SKYPE Rosemary2412
March 7^th 2019